- QUIET & SECLUDED – half the block is empty
- UPDATED KITCHEN – the water does not backup in the sink
- MOTIVATED SELLER – has been on the market forever.
- CONVENIENT – next to the highway
- MOVE IN CONDITION – there is no front door.
- COZY – rooms are 5ft by 5ft
- OUTSTANDING – house painted in bright pink color
- GOOD SECURITY – neighbour has a unfriendly Rottweiler
- UNUSUAL FEATURE – property comes with an alligator
- VALUE FOR MONEY – no roof and doors
- WATERFRONT PROPERTY – water rises 10 feet into the house during the rainy season.
- SOPHISTICATED CITY LIVING – next to a sex shop and noisy bar
- IN SECLUDED NEIGHBOURHOOD – next to the jailhouse
- BELOW MARKET PRICE – the house is haunted
- SURROUNDED BY GREENERY – garden has not been maintained and weeds are now 6ft high…
- GOOD INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY – if another idiot comes along and pays you a higher price than what you will be paying..
- HURRY AND DO NOT MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY – am broke and desperate for the commission.
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